4.5: DD & the Disappearing Act (Early Days)

📅 16 Dec, 2016

I know this probably sounds messy—but it’s real.

We met in a gay sauna. I never intended to date anyone I met in a place like that. It was just one of those unspoken rules I made for myself. But that night? I was drunk as hell after a company Christmas party. I was staggering around the sauna when I saw him—this ridiculously cute Asian guy. Duc Duy. Or, as he preferred, DD.

I don’t remember everything, but I do remember pushing him into a cubicle and locking the door. Chaos, warmth, adrenaline. After, he asked me to come with him to his hotel. I told him no—again, that rule. “No contact outside the sauna if that’s where we met.” But somehow… I ended up in his hotel room anyway.

He was just visiting Auckland on his days off. He worked and lived in Napier. I woke up the next morning disoriented hangover pounding, beautiful view of Queen Street outside, DD sleeping next to me, and this strange ache in my chest. He was so beautiful. I figured there was no way someone like him would ever want someone like me. Someone who drinks too much. Someone broken.

But we spent the whole day together. We got food, drove around, maybe went to the beach? It’s blurry now. But I remember feeling good. Comfortable. Like I hadn’t in a long time.

We didn’t start dating right away. He lived in Napier. I was in Auckland. It was long-distance at first—once every two weeks, sometimes more. We texted through New Year’s Eve and I asked if I could come visit. He said yes. I drove down to Napier. Fireworks on the beach. My ridiculous pink and grey hair from a friend who insisted on dyeing it. Warm weather. The kind of night you want to press in a book like a flower.

After about six months, he left his restaurant manager job in one of the best hotels in Napier and moved in with me in Auckland.

That was the beginning of our life together. It started like a blur, but I remember the feelings so clearly.